Written by Lauren Rhodes, CNN
Why do we so often choose our current partner? Well, there’s at least one common explanation: the voice.
Research suggests that while the physical meeting of eyes is often the trigger point, the ears can also be a crucial factor to consider.
How people find a mate often hinges on their personality — not just how they look, or whom they meet, but also how their personality is expressed.
Chatting with experts, we uncovered a few clues about how these voices shape the way people find love, as well as what moments, notes and “chemistry” appear to trigger a lasting connection.
A cheeky voice or flirtatiousness
“I never thought my voice would be an issue,” says the Psychology Department Chair at University of Alabama at Birmingham, Dr. Daniel Clayton.
But a few years ago he was surprised to discover that for some individuals, the sense of intimacy during a date came only from the person they were sharing a room with.
“The vocalizing was reduced to a single microphone. Sometimes people take a more humorous, cheeky personality while doing intimacy.”
Could you convey such a personality? Does being too friendly or too forceful raise questions? For some, the voice is key to finding out.
Take comedian Katie Walsh, who found that the “smooth, vibrating voice” often matched what she heard through her ears.
“I didn’t want to bump against my boyfriend and say, ‘Did I really pick the wrong one?'”
Orrea Gold, associate director of undergraduate studies in psychology at University of Arizona, agrees with Walsh’s approach.
“It’s the calibration of a voice and the voice’s dynamic expression that it should be in tune with your partner’s,” she says.
Research suggests that, to some, such calibration is simple enough.
“(When) we speak, we face ourselves toward our partner, our face is deeper, our voice is lower, we take two actions, we make jokes and of course, we smile.”
Describing your personality
“A man is considered more promising when he voices his character,” says Dr. Daniel Carlton, “Another woman is considered more promising when she is very active and outgoing and enthusiastic. A man is considered more promising when he has an intelligent, witty and intelligent voice.”