When my boyfriend wants to be happier, I feel happy

CNN • Updated 19th December 2018 ( CNN ) — Happiness often lies in one’s own company. But every once in a while, the best therapy can come from your partner. The latest installment…

When my boyfriend wants to be happier, I feel happy

CNN • Updated 19th December 2018

( CNN ) — Happiness often lies in one’s own company. But every once in a while, the best therapy can come from your partner.

The latest installment of ” Ask Ellie ” featured a woman who’d been a victim of one such relationship. She’d given up hope that she’d ever be happy, at least at the level of deep connection she craved. Then her current beau told her he wanted to be happier with her, too.

Here’s her story.

Tried every avenue

Since never feeling satisfied with my boyfriend

We are completely satisfied right now

Plenty of parts of me are exactly like what’s supposed to be there — but how can I be happy?

I’m 26. After being miserable for about nine years, he made a commitment to be honest with me about where we stood, and he left something on the table for me.

It was so tough, and he took a huge risk. He said he wanted me to be happy, but how can I do that when I don’t know if he wants to be?

Through therapy I’ve learned to take those looks in his eyes with a grain of salt and see his face for what it is: he’s genuine. We got involved, but with respect.

It’s a process

We started a couple of weeks ago, and it’s definitely a process. I had to be honest about my mental state. I had to let him know that I want a future, I don’t just want to be in the relationship forever.

I’ve been going to therapy with my own therapist and with psychologist Dr. Thomas LaMond several times a week since we started dating again, and he’s helped in building my confidence up.

He’d want more. Not because he wants me to be a perfect thing, but because he wants to take things to the next level.

He makes me feel special, and although I still struggle to put myself in a moment where I’m not thinking about him, now I can.

I think we’ll have more to talk about down the road. If you could invest one-on-one time in a relationship, especially if it’s a new relationship, how would you do it?

If he was willing to make some time available for me, how would I feel about the ‘ifs’ and ‘if it doesn’t happen, I’m fine’ conversation?

I’ve always wanted it to be a real relationship, even though he had a lot of baggage and all this baggage, and we still don’t have that feeling of complete completeness with each other.

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